I feel trapped. I hate college and all I want to do is drop out and find my passion. I somewhat regret transferring to Hofstra because of all these loans I have. I understand loans are basically a basic part of a college students life but it’s just frustrating. I don’t even like journalism anymore! I want to start over. I want to be able to take a year off and think about what I plan on doing for the rest of my life. It’s too late to do that now. Once I’m out of college I’m going to have to pay off the thousands of dollars of debt I have. I can already see myself struggling to get a decent paying job, living at home with my parents who do nothing but upset me and make me think about all the mistakes I’ve made, while my friends are off doing better things like going to grad school. It also frustrates me that my parents barely help me out with this. They keep saying “Oh we don’t want to take out money from our retirement and savings blah blah blah…” but its okay if they redo the bathroom, put in a back patio, redo the driveway etc etc. Can they maybe forget about those unneccary things and help their own goddamn daughter out? I hope they understand that I’m probably not going to be making enough money as a journalist to pay this shit off.

What sucks is I have nothing that I want to pursue in life. Yeah, I have things that I like and enjoy to do, but I’m not very good at them. I can’t see myself being able to do those things for a living. I just know there’s something out there that I’m both equally good at and can be successful at in a career. I just don’t think journalism is that. I just wish I had the time to discover what that is.